


one last goodbye

by ghostangel



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Birthday Party, Gangsey, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, No CDTH spoilers, Post-The Raven King, Spring Fling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:08:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23982103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostangel/pseuds/ghostangel
Summary: Adam finds Noah's driver license. They throw him one last birthday party to say goodbye.[TRC Spring Fling 2020, gift for Emjen Enla]
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15
Collections: TRC Spring Fling





	one last goodbye

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Emjen_Enla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emjen_Enla/gifts).



> A big thanks to Emma for beta reading this and helping me make it better ❤️

They had been searching for almost a month.

Gansey kept revisiting all the places he had seen him. Blue tried calling to him with Maura and Calla. Henry used his gadgets to scan the whole of Henrietta for abnormal heat signatures. Adam travelled into the void, shouting his name, for so long that he almost lost himself in it. Ronan spent countless nights searching his dreams and his nightmares and whatever little was left of Cabeswater.

They all came back empty-handed. Not even a small trace.  _ There was nothing to be found _ .

Noah was gone.

Ronan liked sleeping outside sometimes. He had dreamed up a bed, an old wooden thing, and he had placed it amidst the meadow. At first Adam had been sure that the cows would attack it and tear it apart, but they seemed to recognize it as one of their own. The dark wood and the delicate carvings on the headboard perfectly matched the scenery. It was as if the earth itself had given birth to it. So beautiful. Ronan liked creating gentle things.

It was one of those nights, when his head wouldn’t stop spinning and his thoughts were attacking his mind like daggers. Frustrated, Ronan took his blanket and his pillow and went outside. The bed was always clean and the sheets always smelled of lavender. It smelled like home.

He dreamed of a forest, but it was slightly different to Cabeswater. It was darker and colder and he didn’t recognize most of the plants there. Ronan wandered around for a bit. Everything looked the same around him. There was nothing unique about the trees, they all had one colour and height. It created a sense of uneasiness in his heart.

It wasn’t long before he spotted it. He caught a glimpse of something, something red and shiny among the trees. Ronan moved towards it, slowly, as if he was approaching a wild animal. There was an opening, equally dark with the rest of the forest, and in the middle of it, there was a car, shining red and menacing. It was a Mustang. He noticed a sticker was placed on the left corner on the windscreen. Ronan touched it and before he could think, he had already woken up.

He had brought Noah’s car back with him.

Another month passed. They all used the car from time to time. Henry once had used it to go pick up Blue and get ice cream. Her hands were shaking. She looked pale and tired.

“I really miss him sometimes,” she said. Her tears were shining like tiny diamonds as the sun hit her face. She took a tissue out of her backpack and wiped them. Henry decided not to comment on it. Instead he stopped at the first ice cream store he saw on their way and bought her three cups of ice cream. 

One day, Adam’s car wouldn’t start, as usual. He sighed. The red Mustang sitting in the garage was his only option, although he  _ really _ didn’t want to show up at Boyd’s with a car like that. He sighed again and got out of the Hondayota. 

Adam hadn’t used it before but he was fairly sure they were supposed to keep the keys in the glove compartment. Also, he was fairly sure Ronan was supposed to have cleaned the car, but when he opened the glove compartment, it was full of papers.

“Damn you, Lynch,” he whispered under his breath, and started searching. It didn’t take him long to find the keys, but, as he was searching for them, some of the papers fell out of it. As he was ready to shove them back in, he noticed something that looked like a driver’s license.

As soon as Adamrealized what it was, he felt a sharp pain in his chest and his breath hitched. It was, in fact, a driver’s license. Noah’s driver license. His hand slowly found its way to his face and covered his mouth. Adam wasn’t the type of person that cried easily, or at all. But at that moment the realization dawned on him. Noah was gone. He was never going to see his friend – ever again.

He didn’t even notice Ronan getting into the car. Ronan sat on the passenger’s seat and shut the door behind him. Adam flinched. He slowly took the license from Adam’s hands and looked at it. Adam noticed his lip quivered.

“I think-,” Ronan said, his voice coarse and strange, “I think we should throw him a party.” He showed the card at Adam again and pointed at the birth date. Noah’s birthday – Noah’s birthday was supposed to be in three days.

“One last goodbye,” he whispered, his voice shaky.

“One last goodbye,” Adam whispered back, and buried his face in Ronan’s chest. Ronan wrapped his arms around him. “It’s what he deserves,” he said.

The three days passed in the blink of an eye. At first, they wanted to throw the party at Monmouth but Noah’s room was too close: this was supposed to be a day of celebration, not grief. Blue chose the most colorful birthday decorations she could find. Pink plates, green cups, blue balloons, red confetti and a giant yellow banner that read  _ happy birthday ghost boy _ . They gave Opal glitter to throw all over the Barns, knowing full well they were going to regret it. Henry and Ronan made the cake and surprisingly it didn’t turn out as bad as they had expected.

“I used to bake with my mother,” Ronan explained while he was carrying it to the table.

It was a chocolate cake with bits of biscuits in it. Crunchy and soft at the same time. Noah loved it like that. Gansey and Adam went to buy the alcohol and pizzas and Ronan made a playlist with all of Noah’s favorite songs. He loved it, everyone else would surely hate it.

Adam and Ronan sat on the couch, Blue on the armchair next to it, and Henry and Gansey on the floor. Everyone had a beer in hand. Everyone was looking solemnly at the birthday cake sitting in the middle of the coffee table.

Blue got up. “Let’s make a toast,” she said. She cleared her throat and raised the beer bottle she was holding. “I don’t regret anything,” she started. Her knuckles were white as she squeezed the neck of it. “I know I don’t say this often, but I feel incredibly lucky that I met you all. You are part of my family. And Noah was too. I wish we didn’t have to say goodbye. I-I wish we didn’t have to say goodbye but maybe that’s just how it was all meant to be. And I believe we will one day meet again. Because I chose all of you. I chose to stick around. We all did even if we didn’t realize it at the time. And I know Noah chose us too. I miss that little bastard.” She wiped a tear off her cheek. “Anyway, I’ll stop now before I get too emotional. To Noah,” she said, and drank.

“To Noah,” everyone whispered in unison, and drank from their bottles.

They all blew out the candles of the cake together and talked about their summer holidays and school and the Barns and everything they’ve been through,  _ together _ . 

“Sometimes I wish I had been kinder to him,” Ronan said after a couple of hours. His eyes were glued to the floor, his shoulders tense. Adam wrapped his arm around them.

“I used to throw him out of the window and snap at him all the time, the same way I do with everyone, but now that he’s gone- I just hope he knew how much we loved him,” he said.

“I think he did,” Henry chimed in. “The way he looked at all of you, everything he did. He loved you too. I wish I had met him sooner,” he said as he downed his drink.

“Sometimes I blame myself for all of this,” Gansey whispered. “He died because of me.” Henry placed his hand on his shoulder and Blue reached over and patted his head.

“But I’m sure he would never blame you,” she said. “Noah would never hate you.”

“I hope you are right,” he said, his voice shaky.

“Sometimes I blame myself that I wasn’t able to save him,” Adam confessed in turn. Saying this felt like a huge weight was lifted off his chest, but the emptiness that it left behind made him want to cry.

Ronan laced his fingers with Adam’s. “We all know you tried, we almost lost you because of it,” he said.

“Ronan is right,” Blue added, “I can’t believe I just said that.” She continued, and finished her drink. She looked at Adam before she added, “Really, you tried your best. It’s just that there is a limit to what you can do. And no one blames you for that.”

Adam nodded. Blue seemed like she wanted to say something, but she hesitated. “What is it?” Ronan asked.

“I-” she started, “I kissed him once.”

Suddenly, Adam’s eyes widened, Ronan started laughing and both Gansey and Henry choked on their drinks.

“You’re fucking with us, right?” Adam sputtered.

“I’m not!” A mixture of embarrassment and anger had filled her voice and her cheeks had turned bright red. “It was all because of the prophecy,” she tried to explain. “I couldn’t risk kissing someone that was alive; a dead man can’t die again.”

“And you had to kiss Noah?” Henry exclaimed.

“Why didn’t you tell us earlier?” Gansey asked.

“It didn’t come up,” Blue casually explained, as if she was talking about the weather.

“I can’t believe she made out with a ghost,” Ronan said in between laughter. “How is Blue the coolest of us all?”

Adam turned to look at him. “Would you also like to make out with Noah?” he asked.

Ronan stopped laughing. “That’s- that’s not what I meant,” he said turning pink. Adam narrowed his eyes at him and the other three burst out laughing.

The atmosphere was lighter now. It was like the dark cloud that was sitting upon their heads was lifted. Their hearts were beating and they were laughing and they were so  _ so  _ alive. All felt normal for once, them making fun of each other and drinking together. Everything was going to be okay.

And maybe, just maybe, a blond boy, with a smudge on his left cheekbone, was watching them from somewhere afar. And maybe he smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all liked this ❤️


End file.
